In the last "How Can I Know I'm saved?" post, we listed some sources of false assurance in respect to salvation. Some of my readers may have put their hope in some of the things I listed (I know I used to), and you may now be wondering "If X doesn't mean I'm saved, then how can I tell if I'm saved? Is there any way of knowing?"
You may recall that I believe that you can know whether or not you're saved. You can have assurance of salvation. But you can't just blindly accept my opinion on that, you need some proof. Is it possible to know you are saved? Let's look at what Peter and Paul had to say:
2 Peter 1:10 says:
“Therefore, brethren, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you”In 2 Corinthians 13:5, Paul tells us:
"Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified."Peter and Paul wouldn't urge us to try to find out whether or not we're saved unless there actually is a way of knowing, and that knowing is important. With that in mind, let's move on to how we can know if we're saved.
The first thing to ask is if you've had an actual salvation experience. Most people can point to a time in their life where they walked the aisle, said the sinner's prayer, or even got baptized. A point where one could say "If I really got saved at any time in my life, it would've been then."
If you've had one of those experiences, but are doubting whether you're saved or not, then what you're really wondering is if your salvation experience was genuine. Did I really become a Christian that time I walked the aisle? Did I really become a Christian when I said that prayer? Am I really saved because of that time I got baptized?
Maybe you already know the answer. Maybe you know that your experience wasn't genuine. Or maybe you never had such an experience to begin with. Maybe you read one of the means of false assurance we talked about and thought "That's me! I'm not saved!"
I have listed below what I believe are the necessary elements of a genuine salvation experience. If you are not saved or not sure, this next part is for you.
1: Recognition of sin. You can't get saved unless there is something to save you from. You must realize and admit, both to yourself and to God, that you are a sinner, and that you have sinned against God. You know what it is you've done, whether something "small" like lying or stealing, or "big" like adultery or murder, you have sinned (Romans 3:23), and you deserve to go to hell for it (Romans 6:23). Recognizing this is the first step.
2: Willingness to repent. So you know that what you've done is wrong. But do you care? Are you sorry? Do you feel remorse for what you've done? A lot of people don't. Some people look back on their sin and think "Yeah, that was wrong... but who cares? It was fun! I'd do it again in a heartbeat!" Your attitude needs to be the opposite of this. The dictionary defines "repent" as "to feel or show that you are sorry for something bad or wrong that you did and that you want to do what is right." This is the attitude you need to have.
3: Submission to Jesus. You know you've sinned, and you regret your sin. Now you want to make it right, and fix things. But you can't. Only Jesus can. So what's the next step? The Bible has the answer, and it repeats it over and over, time and time again, for our benefit:
"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved" (Acts 16:31)
"Whoever calls on the name of the LORD will be delivered" (Joel 2:32)
"...if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe with your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation." (Romans 10:9-10)
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16)These three elements -- a recognition of your sin, a willingness to repent of your sin, and a submission to Christ as the only one who can take away that sin -- comprise a genuine salvation experience. If you have experienced true salvation, then you are "a new creation, old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17).
As a result of being made new, you will have new desires, Godly desires; like an appetite for scripture, prayer, fellowship with other believers, and Godly teaching.
Your desires will be followed by actions. If you've truly been changed on the inside, then it will be manifested on the outside, in the way you act, the way you speak, and the way you treat others. As Jesus says, "The tree is known by its fruit" (Matthew 12:33).
So based on this information, would you say that you are saved? Have you recognized your sin and repented of it? Do you believe in Christ and submit to Him as your Lord and Savior? Are your desires Godly ones, and do you bear good fruit? I hope the answer is yes.
“These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life” (1 John 5:13)But if the answer is no, then what are you waiting for? You have everything you need right here. If you haven't had a genuine conversion, then you can have one right now.
“The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.” (Mark 1:15)
Please read the next post, which deals with a very important issue: Sin in the life of a Christian
I wish I could say this really helped me, but I'm too distressed to think about it. I just want to die! There are so many things I need to figure out. I know I shouldn't be asking a random person on the internet, but I really don't have anyone else who can know right now. Is abortion murder? What would you say to an unmarried pregnant girl? Would God forbid her to get an abortion when it would solve everything?
ReplyDelete~Leah L
I'm so sorry to hear that! Please don't feel that way!
DeleteYes, abortion is murder. An unborn baby is 100% human, and taking a defenseless human life in that way, unborn or otherwise, would be murder.
What would I say to an unmarried pregnant girl? Well, I've never thought about it until now, but here's what I would say: God still loves you, you are still precious to Him, and "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). Though premarital sex is a sin, being pregnant is not. A pregnancy may be unwanted, the solution is not an abortion, as God would certainly not want you to abort your baby. To Abort a baby who was conceived via premarital sex would be to add one sin on top of another. I'm not sure what else I would say, since again, I've never thought about it before, but my one big piece of advice would be to call and/or visit a Christian crisis pregnancy center. I don't have all the answers for your situation, but they do. I wish there was something I could do to help, and if there is, let me know. I'll be praying for you.
Just remember that you are still precious in God's eyes, but that the baby inside you is just as precious to Him. That's what I would say to an unmarried pregnant girl.
I've always heard that from my church, but when you are in the situation things just change. I guess when you are desperate enough you are willing to believe anything. And now a days there are so many abortions that it is hard to believe it's really wrong, that each fetus is actually a life.
DeleteOne mistake. ONE. And now I'll have to suffer for the rest of my life...does God really love me?
I can't go to anyone, no one knows right now, I can't tell them, I've always been the perfect girl, it would KILL my parents. My grandparents are willing to take me, and will pay for it...the abortion clinic makes it all so easy.
It doesn't matter what situation you're in, how deperate you are, or how many babies are aborted. A life is still a life, and the baby inside you is a life. Not jut any life, human life. And if you want to do the research, science shows the same thing: The unborn are 100% human.
Deletehttp://blog.drwile.com/?p=3584
http://blog.drwile.com/?p=2984
It was a mistake. But you don't have to suffer the rest of your life, Leah. Let the child live. Hundreds of women end up regretting their abortions (as Ellie pointed out); you're far more likely to suffer from that (and for a lo longer) than you are from having a baby. Regret is a curse, but a baby is a blessing you will cherish for the rest of your life.
God can and does love you, Leah. It doesn' matter how great our sin is, He can forgive us and give us peace. He will take care of you through this if only you remain faithful to Him.
You can't go to anyone? Well, you can come to us. We love you and don't think any less of you for being pregnant. We care about you, but we also care about the baby inside you. We want the best for both of you. If you think it would kill your parents if they found out you were pregnant, think of how they would feel if they found out you got pregnant and then killed the baby. A lot worse. And they will find out somehow. Leah, I know this has got to be real hard, but please. Go to your parents. Tell them. They will understand.
What I'm about to tell you is something I've never told anyone else. I, I did something pretty terrible as well. Almost as bad if not worse than what you did. You don't want toknow what it is. I went to my parents, and I told them. Trust me, it has got to be the hardest thing I ever did in my life, and I was sure it would kill them, but it was so worth it. If your parents are anything like mine, telling them will be the best choice you can make. They love you, and they'll help you. They want you to do well in life, it's their whole goal as your parents, and they LOVE YOU. Leah, I'm pleading with you with all my heart. Tell your parents. Let them help you. Don't kill your baby. Please.
I read the posts. I didn't know. I just didn't know. The pictures...wow.
DeleteReally, would you guys really still "love" me if I did get an abortion?
What IS the best way to tell a mother all this?
What? I thought I was the only one who had to repent to parents. I know my mom does, I don't know about my dad. I don't see him that much. But I'm not sure even my mom will love me after I tell her. I've always had to earn my love.
I kind of want an ultrasound now. Just to see.
Leah, the baby inside you is a human being. It can feel. It can think. It's heart beats. Please don't kill it.
DeleteIt is my duty as a Christian to love all people. However, I abide by the simple phrase, "Love the sinner, hate the sin." I would still love you, Leah, but I wouldn't love what you did.
You are not the only one. Here's how I told my parents: I wrote them an email telling them what I had done, how sorry I was about it, and how afraid I was about what it would do to my standing and reputation with friends and relatives. I, too, was afraid nobody would ever want to marry me after what I did, and I included that in my email. Because it was an email, it let my parents get over the initial shock in private. I knew I couldn't have told them face to face. When we did get together that night to talk about it, I didn't know what to expect. I was expecting the worst. But they didn't talk about what I had done and how bad it was. They talked about how we could make it right. I don't know your parents, so I don't know what the best way to tell them would be, but my way might work for you. If email isn't a good idea for some reason, a written letter might work instead. Whatever the case, you NEED to tell them. I was expecting my relationship with my parents to be ruined, but the opposite happened. The whole thing actually drew us closer together, and now I'm able to go to my parents about anything. I have a relationship with them that I never had before, and we're closer than ever.
I would definitely encourage you to get an ultrasound. You need to see. A lot of Christian Crisis Pregnancy Centers offer free ultrasounds. They can help you in so many ways, Leah.
Leah it is because I love you much that I prayed for you two hours straight. It's because I love you that I'm so desperate that you keep this baby. I'm just as scared for you as for your baby.
DeleteStart with telling your mom that you need her help. I think it is desire of every parent to have their children ask for help. And you are totally not the only one! When I can get on a computer and not this Kindle I'll be able to answer more fully. But an Ultresound could be a good idea. I've heard people say its the best part of pregnancy.
Thank you both so much. I actually do believe you love me...a strange feeling.
DeleteI think I will tell my mom, I may write her a note. Just not yet.
I have had an ultrasound, but they wouldn't let me see. they said there was nothing I would want to see. I looked up ultrasounds...Wow. I think I'll have to get another one and demand to see.
I think I have made up my mind to tell my grandparents to cancel the appointment.
Thank you so much for praying.
Leah! Leah, I'm so happy! Oh Leah, I'm so proud of you. I wish I could hug you! Keep it up, girl friend! Thank you! I do love you!
DeleteHave you ever heard “No perfect people allowed”? Jesus didn't come for the healed, He came for the sick, the broken and needy. He can't save those who don't need to be, He saves those who have no other hope. Leah, He came for you. He died for you. Whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved, no ifs, ands, or buts.
ReplyDeleteI have a dear friend who's parents were not married and her mom was very young. She juggled between them until her mom died. She will tell you to this day that she is very grateful that her mom kept her, and she has a wonderful family right now. She's one of my very, very best friends, the kind who will stick by you when you are nervous, frightened, sick, and depressed. I can't imagine life without her, so even I owe her mom a lot.
Another friend of mine I've known for almost 10 years. She is 15 and just had a baby boy. She probably would have aborted it if her mom had let her, but now she is absolutely in love with him. She posts facebook posts about him all the time, and she loves to take care of him. He's beautiful. Cherish your baby. God works miracles.
Jonny is right that a Christian Crisis Pregnancy Center is a good place to go. They are there specifically to help our little ones into the world and the share the love of Christ.
I'm praying for you, Leah, constantly. I love you and your baby. Please, please keep it.
I thought I was perfect, but I know better now. But I still think I have no hope sometimes. I don't think I can live with the guilt and condemnation. But I'm scared to die with it.
DeleteHere is what my story would be:
Parents ashamed of me, and hate me.
Friends all forsake me.
Pastor's kick me out of the church.
Nobody would want to marry me.
The baby would take it all away from me. I am pretty fun, smart. I have it all, and the baby would take it from me. I know that sounds selfish, I know that it is...but let me ask you, what would you do if you were in my situation? How would YOU feel?
I don't know if I will keep the baby, I have to choose soon, or it will be too late for the clinic.
Leah, I don't think your parents would hate you, you are their child. Your friends aren't real friends if they'd run away from a baby. And Leah, this is a life. This isn't in your hands, it's in God's.
DeleteI know how you must feel. I know this will be the hardest thing you've ever done, but please don't have an abortion. This is a life. This is your life. I know two woman in my church who had an abortion before they were saved. Leah, it was the single worst choice of their life. They have gone through enormous struggles with depression, years and years and years of taking meds trying to forget that they had a baby and killed it. All that fun and smart stuff--you have it now but it can't last, Leah. A baby does. Children are gifts from God. Abortion is murder. You can watch this video if you need to make sure http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y2KsU_dhwI The Abortion Clinic makes it sound easy, but it isn't. Have you seen what an abortion looks like?
Please Leah, I would give you my email address and encourage you for 20 years if that meant you would keep this baby. Will you go to my blog and send me your email address through the Prayer Request form? aquamarinedreams.wordpress.com. I'll be your friend. I'll love your baby. I'll be an un-judging ear to listen to every problem and struggle you have. I love you Leah.
Please don't do something you'll regret for life. Please don't abort your baby.
I almost wish they would, I deserve it.
DeleteIt's hard for me to let God take control, I want to be in charge of everything in my life.
I watched the video, it made me sick.
I really don't feel like I was given a gift right now.
You are so sweet Ellie, but I share an email address, that's why I'm not emailing anyone.
I have two weeks to decide.
Here's a real good article on what abortion really is. http://www.lastdaysministries.org/Articles/1000008517/Last_Days_Ministries/LDM/Discipleship_Teachings/Melody_Green/Children_Things_We.aspx
ReplyDeletePlease read it, it's really good.
Love you, Leah!
Just read this. I had no idea. The abortion clinic doesn't tell you these things! I CAN'T abort the baby now. Now that I know. I thought it was just a thing that could easily be removed, but now I know. omg. I can't believe I was going to do this to a human.
DeleteBut you didn't, Leah. I'm so glad. I'm SO glad! Keep in contact! I love you!
DeleteI totally agree with Ellie. We love you Lea, and we're proud of you for making the right choice. :) I'm so happy I don't know what else there is to say!
ReplyDeleteBut yes, please keep in contact. We want to know how everything turns out, and we'll be here to support, help, and pray for you in any way we can.
Thank you guys so much. I told my mom. She was angry, sad, surprised. But we're working through it. I'm not going to tell my dad, I hardly see him anyways, and he'll figure it out.
ReplyDeleteI am TERRIFIED. I don't know what to expect. I know nothing about pregnancy, and mom's no help, when she had me she didn't really know anything, she just followed the doctor's orders.
I'm going to switch doctors, mom didn't like how the doctor treated me, she's not too pleased with my grandparents either. They happen to be friends.
Oh God I'm scared. I know my friends and pastor will have to find out. And the way my mom reacted, I don't know if I can go through that again! I think it would crush me. So, I think I can now narrow down my friends list. And you know the boys who all thought I was the best thing ever? They'll never look my way again. Unless of course they look my way in scorn.
Despite of all this I was actually laying in my bed clutching a baby doll I dug out for the occasion and thinking of baby names. For a girl I came up with Mary, or Isabelle, for a boy Isaac or Caleb.
My mom was going to kick me out, but she's giving me a second chance. boy, I hope I don't screw things up! To be homeless would add a huge stress to the pregnancy. Though I guess I could move in with my dad...if he's sober.
I am so scared, but I don't feel as guilty. I actually can't wait for the baby to grow enough so I can see what it is for myself. And the doctor I'm switching to is a Christian, so I think she'll let me see it.
That's all the update for now. I guess considering everything it's going good. Though I can't get a hold of the dad. He must have skipped the country. I'm not sure I want to talk to him anyway.
Leah, I have been reading some of the comments here (I'm Haley's mom and a friend of Jonny) and I want to tell you how proud I am of you for choosing life for your baby, especially when it seems the harder road ahead. Abortion is presented as an easy and preferable solution. I know; I scheduled an abortion in 1997. God intervened in a major way and I missed that appointment. I look at my beautiful 16 year old daughter MacKenzie and cannot imagine what life would be without her! I have friends who've chosen abortion, and though they know they are forgiven by God, the regret never goes away.
DeleteI highly recommend (as others here have said) that you contact a Crisis Pregnancy Center asap. They can counsel with you and your mom and pray with you, and offer services and resources such as free ultrasound, maternity clothes, and baby items.
Sweetheart, I know in the days ahead you will be tempted to hang your head in shame as your "sin" becomes obvious. I want to encourage you to look up (keep your eyes on Jesus); for you have chosen LIFE for your precious child! May God richly bless you and carry you through the days ahead.
Aww I love the name Isaac! And I haven't stopped praying for you. I know all of this is terrifying. I'm terrified to, but you've got a huge part out of the way. And based on how your mom is reacting to the doctor, I think she's safely on your side. Thank you so much for keeping us updated. You are on my mind a lot. And they are good thoughts. I'm still praying. I love you!
ReplyDeleteMy mom is on my side. After we yelled it out we were able to discuss things like civilized beings. I know it was hard for her. I mean she feels like she failed as a mom, but I do think she could have handled it a bit better.
DeleteI talked to my pastor, well actually mom did most of the talking. But it went ok. He's not going to kick me out of the church, but i don't know if he's comfortable with me taking communion.
I just want to get right with God. Of course that's the one thing the pastor WON'T talk to me about. But it was overall fine.
Two people down, a whole lot more to go.
It's good that you're making progress, Leah. I'm glad things turned out okay with your mom and pastor. I hope and pray that it will be the same or better with the rest.
DeleteBut I'd like to know more about what your pastor thinks. The fact that he won't talk to you about getting right with God an that he may not be comfortable with you taking communion causes me to raise an eyebrow.
We'll keep praying for you, Leah. Stay strong! Let us know if there is anything else we can do!
My pastor is a mystery to me. It was like he was avoiding talking about my soul. I tried hard to get him to, but he kept avoiding the subject! I honestly don't think he thinks I'm a Christian anymore, but he's still talking to me as if everything was fine. And I tell him it's not.
ReplyDeleteI think he's scared of my mother. or of offending her. She is a lot like me, beautiful, spirited. We are both the pampered pets of the church, the 'darlings' who can bat their big beautiful eyes and get whatever they want. I don't think I will be a 'darling' anymore, but still, I think the pastors scared to offend. I wish he would offend me! I wish he would just tell me what he truly thought of me, and then how to make it right. Oh my head's swimming. I don't know what to think. What to do with this shell of a life!
Hello Leah,
ReplyDeleteI am friends to both Jonny and Ellie. As I have read the comments my heart has broken for you. This has never happened to me, but at times I have wondered if it did happen to me how I would react and how I would feel. And to be honest, I can tell you I would feel a lot like you.
You ask, what to do with your shell of a life. The Lord wants your life. God still wants you. No matter what you have done, He wants you. He wants to be your Father, Comforter, Guider. Repent of your sin, which means making a turn around, and give your life to the Lord. Surrender your life to Him. It's not easy, but you will have peace. The Lord will give you grace.
Hey here is my email address. I'd love to be your friend. :)
hislittlerose@gmail.com
Hi Leah!
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful you chose to the right thing! May God bless you in your decision!
My mom became pregnant with me at the age of 15. I'll tell you her story. When she found out, she thought having an abortion would “take care of the problem” though she was openly “pro-life” before this happened. After looking in the phone book for abortion clinics, she called, made and appointment to meet with someone. Walking in she thought she was going to be discussing an abortion. Little did she know she was at a Christian Crisis Resource Center. There was a very warm, caring, older Christian woman who greeted her. She sat down with her and gently counseled her through her fears. She remembers the women asking her what she feared most. It was the same thing you said- telling her mom. The woman encouraged her greatly and prayed with her. She walked out saying there was no way she would have an abortion. And now having the encouragement she needed, she then went to her mom with the news. And what a surprise my grandmother’s response was! She assured her they would get through it. And they did! Here I am seventeen years later. My mom has always said I was a gift from God and that He used me to bring her to Himself!
I know you're scared but, you will get through this. Children are a blessing! Sometimes you can't always see the good in something when everything around you is bad. Just think about the story of Joseph. God used the bad things for good and for His glory! His hand is in everything. He is always there with you and he works in mysterious ways! I pray the Lord gives you strength and faith!
Telling your mom was the best thing you did! I am so thankful she isn't kicking you out. After you have the ultrasound tell us what it is. I can't wait to hear! Tell us if there is any other support we can give you! I hope your pregnancy goes well! I prayed for you and I will continue to! - For you and your baby.
If you have repented (and it sounds like you have ) then your friends should still stick with you. They should be loving and understanding. And I am glad you are not continuing contact with the father.
As for the issue with your pastor, he should be shepherding you. Maybe you should write a letter to your pastor with the feelings and thoughts you shared. Talk to your mom about that.
We love you! Here are some encouraging verses.
Psalm 28:7 The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,
And with my song I will praise Him.
Psalm 16: 11 You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.
Alexa, thank you for sharing your mom's (and your) amazing story! It brought tears to my eyes just thinking how the Lord orchestrated all of that. You truly are a double blessing to your mom and a beautiful testimony of the Lord's redeeming power.
DeleteI am so totally overwhelmed with all these comments. (not in a bad way though) Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHaley, I don't use my email, I share an address, but you are sweet to give it to me. :-)
Alexa, Wow! Thank you for sharing your story, I'm glad I am keeping the baby, maybe she/he will turn out as nice as you.
Cheryl, thank you. It's good to hear about someone from my end of things. I hope all turns out for me too.
I did research the Crisis Pregnancy Center, but my mom wants to go with the regular doctor. I'm a little disappointed, I was looking forward to meeting people like you all in person, but I'm still fine with her choice.
I know I missed a lot, but this is all I have time to respond to now. Thank you all for being so nice to me.
~Leah L.
Leah,
DeleteI read that about you not using your email address after I gave you my email address. :)
I will be praying for you throughout this pregnancy that it won't be rough and there will be no complications.
I hope to someday meet you and your baby in person. That will be amazing.
Hi Leah! Just wanted to tell you that I'm praying for you too! All these lovely people have said pretty much all I want to say. We all do love you Leah, but God loves you even more, we want so badly to help you, but we can only do so much for you, God can change your whole life and turn it around! He has done so for me many times. You talked about wanting to discuss your soul, well feel free do do so here, everyone here loves you and wants the best for you...but I would also encourage you to pour out your heart to God, He always hears, and He can do far more for you than any human can. Tell Him how you feel, tell Him your struggles, your doubts, your fears. He loves you Leah! And so do we. :)
ReplyDeleteSo how are you doing? How is your baby? Is there any new way we can pray for you? Is there any subject you would like scriptures on? Or we could just talk, we want to be your friends, not just because you're in need, but because we love you, and we know the value of you as a person, and you as a soul. Please do tell us if there is anything you need!
Love you!
Payton
I can't get over how sweet you all are! Thank you guys so much for praying for me.
DeleteI think I will take your advise and pour out my heart to God, I haven't prayed in awhile. I don't know as I've ever felt more loved by people I don't even know. If this is what God has done for you I want it too.
I'm doing very well, much better than I thought I would do. I know it's because of all the prayers you guys have been praying. I would like prayer just to have a right relationship with God.
My baby is doing well too. I still don't know what sex it is though.
Scriptures, well, repentance and forgiveness? I don't have time to look them up for myself.
Thank you sweet girl! It means a lot to hear you say that.
I'm probably not going to be on here for much longer, certain things have come up. Thank you guys!
~Leah L.
I just saw Jonny's last post. I think that takes care of the repentance and forgiveness verses. :-)
DeleteOh do keep praying! We are all praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI was reading this morning in the Psalms and thought I'd share this passage for you because you had said you wanted verses on Repentance and Forgiveness. It's Psalm 51
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=ps+51&version=NASB
This is the Psalm David wrote after he had committed adultery with Bathsheba. I often read this when I have sinned and am feeling condemned. No matter what I have done God always forgives me, and cleanses my heart, and draws me back into his love. All He requires is for you to turn to Him, and follow His path.
I'm so glad you are doing well, I know Gods does hear our prayers, and He delights to answer them.
Love you!
Hi everyone. I just wanted to say that Little James is doing well. Eagerly awaiting his arrival. :-)
ReplyDeleteLeah L.
We're all so happy for you! PLEASE update us on how things are going... with you, your baby, your church, your parents... we're all dying to know how things are turning out. If there's anything we can do for you or pray about, please update us!
DeleteI'm a friend of Leah. Think she's forgotten this post, but I haven't. She told me about y'all, and I wanted to see what you said to her to make her change her mind. It must be nice, rallying together to further a cause, but do you think you've picked the best one? Fetuses can't think or feel, why stop their death when there are so many deaths that involve torturous pain? Wouldn't it be better for them to die now a painless death than to live a life of misery? And are they really alive?
ReplyDeleteFetuses can think and feel. Brain waves can be detected at week 6 of development, twins in the womb stroke each other, and fetuses have been recorded acting in pain when touched by sharp objects during an abortion. But suppose for minute that they didn't feel or think; how would that justify killing them? Can I kill a leper because his nerve endings no longer work?
DeleteAnd you can't know for sure if they'll have a life of misery, any more than I can be sure that they'll grow up to find the cure for cancer. The chances of their life being terrible versus it being amazing are at least 50/50, but even if we knew they were destined for a terrible life, how would that justify killing them? Especially if they could be adopted?
The fetus is a living being. It is made up of organic, living cells, each one performing the functions necessary to be classified as alive.
How is baby James? Do you know? Do you think it would've been right for Leah to abort him? Can you really look into his eyes and say that it would have been better to kill him in the womb?
Hello, Leah's friend!
DeleteI was not involved in the above conversation, but I'm friends with Jonny and Alexa and Ellie. I think it is beautiful that Leah decided to keep her baby James and not kill him. No matter what, I know God loves Leah and her baby.
I just wanted to say a few things. First of all, a lot of people who work to save babies from being killed are not just working toward some abstract cause to make themselves feel good. I know that my friends were talking to Leah because they love her, and they know God loves her, and they all believe that God is the one who created James' life, and it is not anyone's place here on earth to take that life from him. We have no idea what his life will be like, and even if we did, that would not change Leah's responsibility before God to not kill her child. There have been many children born through history that you would think would end up with smooth, carefree lives, and they instead ended up in pain, with a disability, or in hardships that are difficult to imagine. And other children, that you would think would end up living in misery, instead end up very much okay with a fairly easy childhood. No matter what life a baby ends up with, the fact that God breathed life into him is what makes him valuable.
There are, certainly, many other deaths going on these days that are very horrendous. And I ask, why should someone be okay with one kind of death but not another? Why should we be okay with any type of murder, whether it is painful or not? Life is life, and no matter how you take that life or how much pain is involved, you're still killing another human being. Just because someone prays and implores a mother to keep her baby does not mean that they do not care about other types of murders.
Even if not a single person on earth viewed the fetus as a human being, that does not change how God views the fetus. He views it as a human, and that is what matters. That is the reason why any of us view the fetus that way too!
Psalm 139:13-14
For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
First off, yes. James is a beautiful baby. But Leah isn't mature enough to take care of him. Good thing for that little guy she still lives with her mother. But what about these other girls who are off on their own? They make a mistake....then should they have to suffer for it the rest of their lives? Being alone and pregnant is a scary thing, why heap false condemnation on those girls?
DeleteWhat if the fetus can think and feel? It would be done and over and they wouldn't have to feel pain ever again. And don't you all believe babies go to heaven? So if they are babies they're in a better place now.
Thank you Carolyn, it's nice to know more about what y'all are thinking and trying to do. I watched the comments above take place and let y'all be. I didn't want to influence Leah either way. It was her choice.
I can hardly imagine what it would be like to be in that situation, alone and pregnant. What I do know is that there is hope for them, for their babies. One option they have is that, if they are not able to take care of their babies, they can give them up for adoption. There are many families that are willing to love and care for their children, and raise them as their own. They are waiting with baited breath for the day that they will be blessed with a child by adoption. The birth mother can choose the family that her baby will go to; the choice is up to her. Not a choice as to whether the child lives, but as to what family the child will live with. If she knows she cannot support the child, perhaps she might give the child to someone who can. I know many families that have adopted, and I absolutely believe that adoption is a wonderful thing. It is a reflection of what God has done for His children! The love that the adoptive families give to the babies is only a fraction of the amount of love God has for us. The only reason why love even exists is because of God. If it is the Lord's will, I hope to someday adopt.
DeleteI do not believe that where the baby goes has anything to do with whether we are allowed to murder them. If the baby goes to heaven after a painful death, how does that justify the actions of those who killed it?
I saw the other comment that you posted... I will be out of town for a bit, but I just wanted to say that I will be praying for you as well. <3
I suppose Leah could just kill James now. Then he'll never have to think or feel again. Would that be all right?
ReplyDeleteI know these girls have made mistakes. I know it is scary. And they should never be alone. We need to come alongside them and help them. But this isn't just about the mother, it's also about the baby. Life is beautiful and sweet. Every child deserves a chance to live. Because we believe that this child is a real human being, we can't accept that it ever be killed, just like we could never accept the murder of any other human.
That being said, I said before and say again now, I was just as concerned for Leah as for James. I know that she has struggled with depression, and having the guilt of killing her child would not have helped and most likely would have done a lot of harm. On the other hand, having a reason to live and thrive has helped many people feel alive and done them a lot of good.
No, I don't think it would be right for Leah to kill James. He's a healthy baby, no mental defects. And he's no longer in Leah's womb. While they are in the womb it's the mother's choice.
ReplyDeleteDo you really know how scary it is? Have you ever been pregnant? I have, and I can tell you, it's easier to face unknown possibly wrong choices, than life time of hurt for you both.
It's not murder, it's mercy.
So a week before the baby is born, it's the mother's choice? But as soon as the baby comes out, suddenly she can't choose? It's not just a choice. It's a soul, a life, a world of possibilities. Babies are born at 22 and 23 weeks and survive and live healthy, happy lives. I don't see how location matters.
DeleteOne of my childhood friends was pregnant at 15 and had the baby at 16. The baby-daddy was in jail within 3 months of the pregnancy. Yes, I know. I know how she seethed with rage and hurt. I know how her "friends" rejected her. I know how she cried in the bathroom stall when she felt her first contraction. I know how she labored for 72 hours. And I also know how it felt when she couldn't keep her baby from crying, and when she didn't know how to handle him. Please don't think my heart isn't breaking for these girls. I wish I could tell you just how much I feel for them and love them. But just because something is hard doesn't mean it isn't worth it. Most of the time the harder a task is, the more rewarding it is.
Leah's friend, I know that there are people out there who are hateful when they fight abortion, people who consider themselves above ever doing something like aborting their baby. But we here are not trying to condemn you, everything we say is with love. Love for all the mothers out there, and love for the little babies that are growing in their wombs. Abortion hurts both. Abortion takes the mother's life and scars it, and it takes the baby's life and ends it. Abortion is not an easy way to keep living like you have been living, abortion changes the person's life just as much as a baby changes someone's life, but the change is very different. A life filled change, and a regret filled change.
DeleteI know that I have never met you, but I hope you will believe me when I say that I love you and it's because I love you I want to ask....why is it that you commented on this post now? Do you need help in anyway? Are you hurting from a past abortion, or faced with a new choice? Whatever caused you to comment, I'm glad you did. I'm praying for you! And if we can help in any way, please just tell us! <3
You can call me Jo,
DeleteI am thankful for the gentle way you've answered me, so I know that you are at least trying not to judge me. I have a hard time believing that you could love me without knowing me, but I do appreciate your concern. I wondered if one of you would guess why I commented. I am, as you put it, "faced with a new choice". I had no problems with my last abortion, but this time I just want to be sure. Seeing Leah and James has caused a lot of confusion in my mind.
I don't believe in God, but thank you anyway for praying. It's the thought that counts. I am not one to feel a lot of emotion, but I really am touched by y'all's concern for a stranger.
Dear Jo, I'll be out of town for the next 2 to 3 weeks, so I won't be able to check back here for awhile. I just want you to know that I am praying for you and I love you and I believe in a God who saves.
DeleteI don't even know why I started talking with y'all, you can't help me no matter how kind you are. I'm alone, and meant to be alone. I hate my life, but it's all I have, so I'm not going to let anything interfere.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, there's not really much we can do to help you physically. But we can pray for you, talk with you, and encourage you to make the right decision like Leah did.
DeleteBut you're not alone. We'll be here for you, and there are plenty of people that have gone through the same thing as you. Do you know anybody in person that you can go to? Family, friends, or pastor? You are friends with Leah, can't she help? Trust me, there are plenty of people willing to help you, you just need to look in the right places! If you take any of our advice, take this: visit a Crisis Pregnancy Center, if you can. They can help you.
You say you hate your life. I feel for you, because I've been there before. There was a point where I said "You know, there really is no reason for me to keep on living." But now? That's all been changed by Jesus. It sounds cliché, but you won't understand it unless you've experienced it, and once you have, you just can't find any other way to describe it. If you hate your life, then it's a sign that you NEED something to interfere. SOMETHING needs to change. Killing the life inside of you is not going to make things better. Maybe this baby is God's way of "interfering" with your life. Let me tell you, He interfered with mine. When my Grandpa died, I went into depression and looked for all kinds of ways to make my life happy. Nothing worked. Not games, not books, not movies, not relationships, nothing. When Jesus changed my life, all of my problems didn't disappear, and neither will yours. But you know what did change? I was freed from my depression. I have hope now, and a reason to live. I've gone through many tough changes and seasons of life since then, but not once have I hated my life, not since Jesus changed it. You may not think you want your life to be changed, but as long as you hate it, you need it to be changed. Repent, believe, and accept the new life inside of you as a gift from God. Because ultimately, that's what it is.
Never forget that we love you, and will be praying for you no mater what.
Jo, Jonny has said most everything I wanted to say, but I have a few things to add.
DeleteI really believe you commented and started talking with us for a reason. You were scared, alone, and unsure. You admitted as much. I can't even imagine how you must feel, but there is One who knows all your sorrows. I know you said you don't believe in God. But what if you're wrong? What if there IS a God? A God who wants to be your righteous, perfect Husband. Who wants to be a friend that sticks closer than a brother....Who wants to save you from your loneliness. Jesus wants to set you free!
Jo, there is a God, and He loves you. He loves you more than anyone on this earth could love you. His love never runs out or breaks. His love is not selfish like the love of men. You may not believe in Him, you may not believe He can hear you. But He can Jo! And the Bible says that He "waits on high to have compassion". People may help you through dark spots in your life, but only God can set you perfectly free with His everlasting love.
I also want to ask you, what if you're wrong about abortion? You seem pretty certain it's not wrong....but what if it is? Are you willing to take that chance? As was said before, there are people who can help you, there are ways for you to find a loving home for your baby. Why should you take the chance of making a mistake you may regret for the rest of your life?
What ever happens, we will still love you and pray for you!
Jonny,
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing what you did. Being freed from depression almost seems too good to be true. I'm 19 and have gone through years of depression and loneliness. Nothing I have tried has helped me either. I'm sick of it all. However, I am engaged, and I am hoping that with my marriage I can turn over a new leaf. Can you see now why I'm going to have an abortion? My future husband is not the father. And I am sure to be un-engaged if I don't terminate the pregnancy.
Payton,
I'm not an emotional person, but the picture you painted of your God almost brought me to tears. I don't know why you mentioned brothers, but it fits my situation. My brother was killed in a car crash two years ago. He was always my protector, but now I'm alone.
"What if you're wrong?" That question haunts me. If I'm wrong I am in a lot of trouble.
I was wondering, could I talk to you more? Maybe email?
Dear Jo, the reason the picture I painted of God was beautiful is because God is beautiful. He is more beautiful than I could ever say.
DeleteWhat I said about brothers was a Bible verse. “There is friend who sticks closer than a brother” (proverbs 18:24) Jo, you mention your engagement, your fears that if your pregnancy comes to light that he will not wish to marry you. And your brother is not able to be there for you now, not because he doesn’t love you, but because he was taken by death. I can’t be there for you because I don’t know you and don’t live near you. There are limits in every relationship. Limits of love and forgiveness, limits of time and travel, limits even because of death. But there are no limits with God. God is right there for you. He is willing to forgive you, and He has already conquered death. No human relationship will ever fulfill your needs, desires, and longings. Every human will fail you. but Jesus Christ will NEVER fail you. Put your trust in Him. He will forgive your past abortion and He will help you through your current pregnancy and what ever consequences it may have! I have more personal things I can say on this matter, but I think they would go best over email, if you still want to email I would LOVE to talk more with you! Here’s my email address: paytonstitzer(at)gmail(dot)com
I’m praying for you! <3